How Can You Stand It

from Ludlow 6:18 by Cockeyed Ghost

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about

This was the second-to-last song written for LUDLOW 6:18 and the one that I thought musically was the most contrived at the time -- it's the closest thing to a radio song on the album, and I was conscious of needing more rock 'n' roll to finish the record -- but it's grown on me over the years and when we do it live the ending never fails to slay. It doesn't seem like it, but with its various shifting sections the song is actually over five minutes long.

Lyrically, it's another song about loss and the distance between people, and it seems to be something a lot of people relate to, particularly as they get older and options and enthusiasm both seem to wane. I think most people over 30 have had that 3 a.m. moment of desperation when you realize that there's some things that are just never going to happen for you, and opportunities and relationships that you've squandered, and letting that go is like grief.

The idea with LUDLOW was to be brutally and directly honest, even when the truth was bleak, and that's certainly the deal here. During the whole LUDLOW songwriting period I'd made a conscious effort to let down my emotional walls and let feelings that I'd avoided thinking about or dealing with come in unfiltered. The purpose was not just personal growth but to use that state of mind to write as straightforwardly and honestly as I could.

"How Can You Stand It" marked the point where I pulled the escape cord and bailed from this process because by that point I was teetering right on the edge of full-blown depression. I had my album written, and better to return to the world of oblivious day-to-day denial than to songwrite myself into a psych ward. I could revisit these issues on another day (which I did).

Severo contributed a lot of cool little guitar hooks to the album and one of my favorites is his little countermelody on the second verse.

lyrics

Ever since I opened the taps and let what I felt fly free
I don't know what's become of me
Buried in feelings
I love all these people I can see through
And I wish they could see through me
Though there's no guarantee
They'd find it appealing

Last night I woke up
walked around in the dark
weighed down by a sadness
I could barely believe
This is the first time
I've ever looked back
To see the beautiful things
I can never retrieve

Does everyone feel this lonely?
Does everyone get this bored?
And if so, and if so
How can you stand it?

Ever since I pulled off the blinders
And gave my heart full reign
Okay, so this is pain
This is something you deal with
And it presses on me
This feeling of ennui
And the persistent face of dread
I think I'm drowning in my own head
And that organ I feel with

It's said that one day
We'll all die alone
But in the meantime
We'll do fine
We'll take care of our own
But I've just realized we're each grains of sand
That comprises a desert
of misunderstanding

credits

from Ludlow 6:18, released May 15, 2001
Adam - vocals, guitars
Robert Ramos - bass, vocals
Severo Jornacion - guitar, vocals
Kurt Medlin - drums

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about

Cockeyed Ghost Los Angeles, California

Formed in L.A. in 1994, Cockeyed Ghost was a prime mover in the mid '90s L.A. Pop Underground movement. Starting out with two high energy punk-pop albums, after a change in membership the band broadened its sound for two more critically-acclaimed albums. The group morphed (with singer Evie Sands) into Adam Marsland's Chaos Band (2003-18); guitarist Severo Jornacion joined the Smithereens in 2005. ... more

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